


One Hug Kanan

by plumeraccoon



Series: What in Holy Hot Pockets Did I Just Write? [5]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!, ワンパンマン | One-Punch Man
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Attempted Murder, Epic Fail, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Hugs, Humor, Strength
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-12-17 15:04:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21056384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plumeraccoon/pseuds/plumeraccoon
Summary: 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and 10 km. running. Every single day. At least, that's what we're believed to be Saitama's secret to his one-punch strength. So when Kanan stumbles upon this interesting training routine, she tries it for herself.And the result? Well, she didn't lose her hair...or did she?





	1. THE STRONGEST HUG

A bus pulls over in front of its stop for Kanan to get off. She winces at the sunset that greets her, not really an inconvenience but a surprise. It’s as if it’s been a while since she last saw a sunset this brilliant, so the fact that she gets to enjoy it again brings a smile on her face. The bus soon leaves her to enjoy the postcard view, only to be disrupted by a pair of familiar calls close to her.

“Welcome back, Kanan,” Dia and Mari stand before her, fresh from perhaps the longest school day of the year. Still, for their dear friend, they muster the strength to put up a smile.

“Thanks for coming out here to meet me,” Kanan returns a smile in kind. “I know I’ve only been gone for a month, but it feels like months.”

“Or _years_,” exclaimed Mari. “Everyone in Aqours was worried that you weren’t keeping in touch.”

Kanan clasps her hands in remorse. “I’m really sorry. But I had to focus on my training.”

“Really now? You couldn’t spare, what, five minutes to answer a call?”

“It was in the mountains, anyway. The signal keeps turning on and off up there.”

“You’re so mean, you owe me a lifetime’s worth of _hugs._”

It’s a small price to pay for keeping the friends she left behind in the dark. This is the cuddle bug who loves wrapping her arms around just about everything, from friends to inanimate objects, as a form of self-expression. Mari’s wry smile following her supposed tantrum is one of confidence, more than certain that the cuddle bug will deliver.

“Now, now, Mari-san,” Dia puts her hand on Mari’s shoulder. “We all promised to support her in the upcoming marathon. She’ll need all the training and focus she can get.”

“This isn’t like Love Live, you guys,” Kanan chuckled. “Instead of high school girls, I’ll be facing against athletes.” And for all her stamina compared to the rest of Aqours, she doesn’t consider herself one. She stays fit enough for scuba diving, much less for school idol activities. “I’m not even sure if I can win.”

“You don’t have to, Kanan-san. Finishing that grueling race is enough for us.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m serious. We’ll still be proud of you regardless of the outcome. Me, Mari-san, the rest of Aqours, the entire town…”

“Really?”

“To quote Ruby: ‘just do your Rubesty.’”

Kanan takes her friends’ encouragement to heart, as well as the comfort it provides. Dropping her jam-packed rucksack, she stretches her arms out to them and dons her best smile. To the delight of her friends, the cuddle bug is ready to make good on her payment. “Well, I do owe Mari a hug, so come here.”

Dropping their bags, the two girls waste no time hurrying into Kanan’s open arms. Memories of similar hugs flood their minds the moment they tighten their embrace, memories that has come to define their friendship. Amidst the darkening sky, they appear willing to hold on to each other to their dying breaths. The girls’ faces sink deeper into Kanan’s bosom, their heartfelt chuckles muffled. Soon, she gives in to the irresistible urge of tightening her embrace further.

Then…crack.

The snapping of multiple bones stops her vise-like hug. The muffled laughter in her bosom falls silent for some reason. “Dia? Mari?” she calls them out to no avail, turning her bright smile from a minute ago to a look of horror.

As her embrace loosens, her fears are confirmed. Her two friends fall to the ground, their lifeless faces for her to see. Dia’s mouth foams as Mari’s pupils have slid far apart, not an errant twitch from their bodies. Again, Kanan calls their attention to no avail. An awful reality slowly sets in: she had killed them with affection.

“No…” she falls to her knees in disbelief. Her two friends, whom she toiled with for almost her entire life, are gone. Around them, not a soul sees the tragedy unfold. But how would she tell the rest of the gang? And if someone does see the scene, what would she say in her defense? In this reality, accidental or not, killing is killing.

The distant riff of an electric guitar fills the air as she dreads the inevitable. It gets louder, as if in sync with a spike in emotion. Tears fall where she stares, first of grief but then of pent-up rage. Her teeth clench in frustration, coinciding with the loudening riff.

“One…one hug _again_?”

Kanan cries out to the heavens amidst the sunset. Not marking the end but the beginning.

“GOD DAAAAAAAMMIT!!!”


	2. THE LONE HUGGER

Smoke rises from a pair of incenses, beneath a spread of flowers. Behind them are the souls they burn for: the youthful images of Dia Kurosawa and Mari Ohara. Alas, poor souls, life has hardly known them. They had big dreams like any other girl their age, dreams to be shared with friends and family, as well as the means to achieve them. But after that fateful day, their dreams will remain just that. Nothing hurts more than the death of a dream…at least for the time being.

“Please guide their souls into the afterlife,” a solemn Chika prays in front of the flowery altar.

Dia and Mari don’t take kindly to being treated that way. “We’re right over here, Chika-san/-chi,” they said in unison, one arm in cast and their neck encased in a brace.

Around the club room, the rest of their school idol friends look at each other awkward. Save for Kanan whose guilt from the incident weighs her head (and conscience) down. From their looks, they have a hard time taking in the gritty details, starting with Yoshiko. “Honestly, I don’t even know how to interpret this.”

“It’s just as we explained, Yoshiko-san,” Dia replied. “Kanan-san hugged us so hard that it broke nearly every bone in our upper torso.”

“Yeah, but HOW? Kanan’s isn’t some super soldier…or is she?”

“If I have to guess, her training in the mountains went a little too well.”

“A little too well” is the understatement of the day. Whatever training that allows one to gain the power to break bones with a show of affection, history’s most powerful men would want that if they were still around. Imagine if a small band of warriors defending a vital pass trained using this regimen; the tide of that battle could’ve turned in their favor, even with the betrayal.

Glossing over the what-ifs of history, this blessing or curse decides to appear in the form of a perhaps ripped Kanan. Even without her clothes on, however, it’s hard to tell how much muscle she’s gained over the month that she was away. Besides, the silent consensus among the girls is that they don’t want to know what a ripped school idol looks like. _It’d be like putting a Joestar in an idol costume_, as You thought, followed by an anxious gulp.

“Had Kanan-san not loosened up after we fell unconscious, we wouldn’t be here right now,” Dia continued. “Chika-san would be well right to pray for us.”

“Still, you two won’t be able to join us for practice in a while.”

“Better than being unable to join practice for good, You-san.”

“Ha, ha…that’s a good point.”

As the inelegant image of Kanan the bodybuilder idol pervades in the girls’ minds, Riko finally starts asking the right questions. “What brought this on, anyway? I know it’s for a big race, but this is too much even for an athlete.”

Everybody is quiet until Chika reveals a clue, though she’s less enthusiastic about sharing it. “I might have an idea,” she follows up with nervous laughter.

“Eh? Chika-chan?”

“It all started a week before Kanan-chan left for the mountains…”

Cue wavy transition and harp music.

**~FLASHBACK~**

> _In front of the TV blaring sounds of combat, Chika is on the edge of her seat (even though she’s sitting on the tatami). Her eyes widen in excitement, in contrast to Kanan’s look of boredom, as the fighting on screen continues in bloody good fun. To be fair, the hero is fighting a genetically-enhanced mutant hell bent on laying waste to the world. So it makes perfect sense to take the monster out before it manages to get out._
> 
> _“Hey Chika,” Kanan said. “What’s the title of this show again?”_
> 
> _The overjoyed mikan, of course, can’t help but get into it. “ONE PUUUUUNCH!!!” she yells, prompting her sister Mito to scold her from a distance (“Chika, KEEP IT DOWN!!!). And outside the ryokan, Riko cries for help as she’s chased around by Shiitake out of her leash (“Chika-chan, heeeeeeelp meeeeeee!”)._
> 
> _“One punch?”_
> 
> _“One Punch Man! I’ve been hooked since seeing the poster in Numazu.”_
> 
> _“And I’m guessing Mr. One Punch Man is that bald dude over there?”_
> 
> _“Yup. He can take out enemies with just one punch.”_
> 
> _“Neat,” Kanan remains unconvinced, though. An ordinary baldy saving lives for a living just doesn’t pique her interest enough. The guy’s a Mary Sue (in this case a Marty Stu); he can end any conflict on a happy note any time he wants. _
> 
> _If anything, she’s more interested at how the hero achieved such strength. She does love a good workout, after all. Fortunately, the episode gives the answer._
> 
> _100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and 10-km run…EVERY SINGLE DAY._
> 
> _“So cool,” Chika could barely contain her joy as she faces Kanan. “Hey, Kanan-chan, do you think it’s possible to be like him with that kind of workout?”_
> 
> _“I doubt it,” Kanan chuckled. “Actually, those are rookie numbers for athletes.”_
> 
> _“Eh?! Really?”_
> 
> _“Yep. They do a lot more and they’re nowhere close to doing that,” Kanan points at the TV, just in time to see the caped baldy obliterate the monster in one punch, as advertised._
> 
> _“Aww…would’ve been cool, though.”_
> 
> _“What will you even do with that power, Chika?”_
> 
> _“I can become the best school idol in history!”_
> 
> _“Right. In one punch.”_
> 
> _While unconvinced on the outside, Kanan is as curious as a cat on the inside. It may not win Love Lives (it may just land her in jail), but she gets the urge to find out for herself, anyway. So she sets out, and the girls are none the wiser._

**~END of FLASHBACK~**

“So it was your fault!” Dia and Mari pull Chika’s cheeks in anger with their free hand.

“Ahm weawy sowy, Dia-san, Mawi-chan,” Chika struggles to give a coherent reply. “Ah didn’t know she’d do thwat, ah sweaw…ah weawy sweaw.”

It could’ve been worse, as Hanamaru said. “From what I’ve read, the main character went _bald_ training like that every day, zura.”

“Hanamaru-chan, you watch the show, too?” asked Ruby.

“Nah, but someone left a copy of the _manga _in the library. So I read a little, zura.”

“At least Kanan-chan still has her—”

Ruby is barely halfway into her sigh of relief when she sees Kanan holding her hairdo in midair. Underneath the contour, a head sheared clean shines like the radiance they’ve been searching for as a group. If the situation at hand has them struggling to wrap their mind around it, this new information of Kanan wearing a wig makes sure they’ll keep struggling.

“EEEEEHHHH?!?!”

Oh, and not just any wig. This one perfectly catches the hair she _used _to have, ponytail and all.

“K-K-K-Kanan-san,” Dia stuttered. “Did you…what…bwuh, eh?!”

Meanwhile, Mari’s so astounded that her Engrish is forced out of its shell. “_Unbelievable._”

“What do you mean _unbelievable_? Kanan’s wearing a WIG!”

“That’s what I said, Dia. _Unbelievable!_”

“That doesn’t even begin to describe it.”

“Want another one? I got dozens. _Unthinkable, unimaginable, mind-blowing…_”

Their friend has but the makings of the hero from before. Just give her a suit like what the hero’s wearing and they basically have One Punch Bingo. How would Kanan and friends deal with this debacle? Heck, can she still remain a school idol without looking like a walking JoJo reference?

“Ah, I just thought of a name for her,” exclaimed Chika. “One Hug Kanan!”

“That’s not helping, Chika-chan/-chi/-san!” exclaimed the rest of the girls.


	3. THE OBSESSED FALLEN ANGEL

As silly as it sounds, “One Hug Kanan” describes her new life to a T. Unlike the hero whom she drew inspiration for her workout, there’s little opportunity for her to act like a hero. Her hug, for all intents and purposes, is now a liability as getting carried away will result in bones becoming powder. Realizing that fact makes her sad, and she has every right to be. Hugs are to Kanan’s character just as _mikan _is to Chika’s; remove the one thing that defines her and she’s basically a blank slate. If not for Aqours and school idols, she might not have anything else to live for.

Nevertheless, hugs make up around 90 percent of her being. And she can’t use it on someone unless he or she decides to live life boneless. So, as Uranohoshi Girls’ High School begins the day, Kanan is limited to greeting others from a distance. Brisking past her schoolmates, Kanan sends out smiles and good vibes, just to make sure she checks out at any hidden vibe test. So far so good, she enters the school grounds without incident, albeit the smile gives way to a long face shortly. The weight is just too much.

Dia’s words from yesterday’s meeting ring in her mind like the aftermath of an explosion. _Kanan-san, until you learn to control your own strength, you are hereby FORBIDDEN from giving hugs to anyone. I know it’s hard, but you’re a risk to everyone right now. I hope you understand. _And understand she does, though she’s not obliged to like the fact.

“I feel bad for Kanan-chan,” You observes Kanan from a distance together with Chika and Riko. “She’s spent all her life giving away hugs, even to strangers.”

“I know, but what can we do?” asked Riko in reply.

“We have to do something…anything!”

“You-chan…”

Then, strangely enough, You eases her tone. “But I guess you’re right. All we can do is watch.”

“Not what I had in mind…but pretty close.”

Chika, who has arguably known Kanan the longest, concurs. “We won’t be able to do anything for Kanan-chan if she breaks our bones. We’ll get our chance eventually, just…not right now.” Her friends can only nod in hesitation as they enter the school grounds, as well. The morning is shaping itself to be an awful one.

As they enter the school grounds, their dismay turns into wonder by hearing a familiar tone. “Halt, mortal!” But looking around, it doesn’t seem to be directed at them. Instead, they see Yoshiko and Kanan facing off surrounded by a sizeable crowd.

Correction: it’s _Yohane_ speaking.

“You, mortal endowed with the blessing of the Archangel Michael. I, the fallen angel Yohane, demand a trial by combat.”

Eight in the morning, while close to mid-morning, is still too early for Kanan to be dealing with stuff like this. “Can it wait until after school, Yoshiko-chan?”

“The eyes of heaven and hell are upon us, thus we cannot linger. Best me in combat with your strongest embrace…or face the wrath of the gods.”

“E-Eh?”

“Oh, and don’t call me Yoshiko. I should’ve mentioned that first.”

An indifferent Kanan attempts to walk past her friend’s silliness. “Well, tell God or whatever that he’ll have to wait after—” she doesn’t get to finish her reply as the entire scene is enveloped in smoke all of a sudden. “What the heck?!”

Where the fallen angel learned to pop smoke like Mentos in cola, nobody will ever know. That’s because the moment the smoke cleared, everybody wants to know how a bunch of cardboard cutouts of Yohane appeared around Kanan. Not to mention where she found the time to make eight of them, each with a different pose.

“Muahahaha!” cackled Yohane, now hidden from everyone. “You can’t hug what you can’t see. If you wish to pass, you must defeat me.”

Granted, the cutouts are just that—harmless stands designed to confuse, if not enamor. Then again, Kanan can simply walk past without consequence, but she’s too nice to do that. _After all the effort Yoshiko-chan put into making these cutouts, I’d feel bad if I just ignore them. _She may be nice, but in this particular context she’s missing the point.

As she looks around for a hint, she quickly gets one. One particular cutout has two hair buns instead of one, and the extra bun seems too real to be a plain paintjob. She’s been delayed long enough; she gets the jump on the cutout and wraps its neck with her arms. And she does it with her brightest smile. “Haaaaagu~!”

Now, there’s nothing wrong with hugs. But when a hug is strong enough to snap a cutout by its neck, as well as the neck of someone behind it, it’s a problem. The defeated fallen angel falls to the ground, bottom up and with a blank-eyed stare into her terrified schoolmates.

Kanan is just as frightened. “O-One hug…a-again…?” And she takes her frustration out to the heavens a second time. “GOD DAAAAAAAMMIT!!!”


End file.
